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After getting crushed by a fallen roof during an earthquake, poor Xiomara wakes up in a hospital room. You’d think nobody would be able to survive that. And you’d be right. Now she’s dead and stuck defending earth from time travelers that threaten the stability of our time stream! After a convoluted explanation and a shitty tour and slide show, Xiomara is left with more questions than answers. Like, how does Miran keep her hair fwoop spikey? What hair dye does Dylan use? What’s the deal with uptight president girl? What happens to us if we fail our mission and all of humanity ceases to exist? What brand protein powder does Kailani use?
